Project 52 Week 10 - How Photography Helps Me Deal With Generalized Anxiety Disorder
Generalized Anxiety Disorder. GAD. Panic attacks, social anxiety, go hide in a hole syndrome. Some interesting facts from The Mayo Clinic via google:
I'm pretty sure I've had some sort of anxiety issues most of my life. I would worry over EVERYTHING in elementary and middle school. As I've gotten older, I tend to over-over-over analyze situations and could-be outcomes. If things start getting out of control in my life, my usual answer is to shut down and stop functioning. Which just makes things get more out of control, duh. Common sense goes out the window sometimes.
Many people thrive on being busy, having plenty of social events and playdates in their planners, and keeping up with everyone's affairs. Nope, not this girl. I LOVE my friends. I'll be your ride or die bitch if needed. Just don't ask me to commit to more than two planned events in a week that aren't work or school obligated. I thrive on quiet time, and while I love being around people (10 out of 10 personality tests tell me I'm extroverted) I have to have enough down time to recharge.
I'll blame it on always working 40+ hours a week, having a family, and being a part time student until a few years ago. I've always had a decent amount of friends, but never really did the whole BFF thing very well. Mary somehow put up with me back in Florida and I love that girl forevvver. Probably because I'll toss back some PBR and cheesecake like it ain't no thing.
Moving to Hawaii and relinquishing my title of DO ALL OF THE THINGS ALL OF THE TIME has been interesting. I'm learning how to be social and less awkward, and have made some amazing friends. I've got a solid bond with my psychiatrist, who also is a comicon junkie, and have found that photography actually HELPS me deal with the stress and day to day.
Since I picked back up my camera, it's been an amazing transformation. Sure, I still have my days when it's HOLY CRAP MY DISHES ARE DIRTY AND THE KIDS MISSED A BATH.. AGAIN and instead of dealing with things, I veg out. But more or less, daily "camera therapy" helps me find my zen and stay on track. Combined with walking and lifting I'm usually pretty clear headed. Having a goal, job, session, upcoming birth gives me focus that I'm EXCITED about. Love.
Sorry this was SUPER long winded. Long story short, I let things get the better of me this week and had two back to back over scheduled, over planned weeks. I ended up pretty sick on Thursday and took the day off of life to sleep (like 14 hours) and rehydrate. My husband was amazing and helped me get everything back on track. Thanks babe!
On that note, last weekend we held our first ever sleepover (with 6 other 8 year old girls) to celebrate my daughter's birthday. It was pretty fun, and way less chaotic than I imagined. I was amused that my husband and I passed out on the couch before some of the kids (they had been so quiet I imagined they zonked out) and woke up at 2:30 AM to two hooligans running up and down the stairs. Nathan has been dealing with an ongoing cold of some sort that comes and goes- just a small cough and he acts miserable. Lots of snuggles for mommy. See you next week!